ONION: Study Finds Every Style Of Parenting Produces Disturbed, Miserable Adults

Article from the satirical Onion:
SANTA ROSA, CA—A study released by the California Parenting Institute Tuesday shows that every style of parenting inevitably causes children to grow into profoundly unhappy adults. "Our research suggests that while overprotective parenting ultimately produces adults unprepared to contend with life's difficulties, highly permissive parenting leads to feelings of bitterness and isolation throughout adulthood," lead researcher Daniel Porter said. "And, interestingly, we found that anything between those two extremes is equally damaging, always resulting in an adult who suffers from some debilitating combination of unpreparedness and isolation. Despite great variance in parenting styles across populations, the end product is always the same: a profoundly flawed and joyless human being." The study did find, however, that adults often achieve temporary happiness when they have children of their own to perpetuate the cycle of human misery

Money and Divorce

It can be hard to deal with divorce from an entirely rational viewpoint, but letting your emotions get the better of you can hurt your wallet more than your pride.

Your best option is to be as honest as possible – don’t try to hide your assets – no matter how badly you’d hate to share them with your ex – as this will only take more time and money to sort out and is TOTALLY ILLEGAL.

Failing to agree over the division of family assets (such as the family home, a business and pension funds), child custody and support and even personal items like CD collections or pets can also cause fees to skyrocket, especially if both parties reach a stalemate over who gets to keep Harry the hamster

How to negotiate:

Collaborative law is growing in popularity. Rather than attorneys exchanging a series of angry (and expensive) letters as they negotiate the terms of the settlement and ending up in court if they can't agree, instead both parties sit down with their respective attorneys to, if possible, work out the terms of the settlement. This only works if both sides are prepared to be constructive and, again, make full-disclosure of their assets. It is an “all cards on the table” exercise but, if successful, can reduce the legal costs of divorce considerably.

Collaborative law is not dissimilar to mediation, although this has proven unpopular with couples as there is usually only one mediator involved who can give advice to both parties, meaning one often feels short-changed at the end of the process.

In collaborative law, your attorney is present during the meetings and if a settlement can’t be reached, the same attorney can’t go on to represent you in court, thus eliminating any incentive to draw out the process in hope of a larger fee.

Protect your assets:

If you are experiencing an emotional or bitter divorce then make sure, if you do choose to get married again, that you’re prepared for the worst. A prenup, is a worthwhile consideration particularly where one party is bringing significant assets into the marriage. It is intended that the prenup would provide the couple with a framework for dividing the assets on a divorce. (read more on pre-nups) Finally, no matter how betrayed you feel, or how bitter the divorce, it is almost always best to grin and bear the pain even after the proceedings are over rather than harbour a grudge into eternity.

The benefit of couples dealing with matters amicably is that this will hopefully enable them to communicate sensibly with their former spouse in the future. Many divorcing couples seem to forget that, following the resolution of the proceedings between them, that they may still need to have contact with their former spouse, particularly where children are involved. (read more on child custody) Generally where the couple have conducted the proceedings amicably, there seems to be a better prospect of them avoiding further disputes with their former spouse. (read more on hidden assets)

© 2011 Warren R. Shiell. Warren R Shiell is a Los Angeles Divorce and Family Law attorney. All rights reserved. The information contained in this blog/website is an "Advertisement." It is for informational purposes only and shall not constitute legal advice. Nothing in this Website shall be deemed to create an Attorney-Client relationship. An Attorney-Client relationship shall only be created when this office agrees to represent a Client and a Client signs a written retainer agreement.

For more information visit www.la-familylaw.com

Contact a Los Angeles Divorce Attorney at Law Offices of Warren R. Shiell

Call for a free consultation now 310.247.9913.

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Child Custody FAQs

1. What is "custody and visitation"?

2. What are the types of custody orders?

3. What are the types of visitation orders?

4. What is a "time-share plan" or a "parenting plan"?

5. What does the law consider when deciding custody and visitation?

6. What is "the best interest of the child"?

7. If we have joint legal custody, do we have to agree on everything?

8. If we have joint physical custody, do our children have to split their time equally between us?

9. Do grandparents have the right to visitation?

10. What is the process for getting a custody and visitation court order?

11. Can a custody and visitation order be changed?

(Read more on Child Custody)

© 2011 Warren R. Shiell. Warren R Shiell is a Los Angeles Divorce and Family Law attorney. All rights reserved. The information contained in this blog/website is an "Advertisement." It is for informational purposes only and shall not constitute legal advice. Nothing in this Website shall be deemed to create an Attorney-Client relationship. An Attorney-Client relationship shall only be created when this office agrees to represent a Client and a Client signs a written retainer agreement.

For more information visit www.la-familylaw.com

Contact a Los Angeles Divorce Attorney at Law Offices of Warren R. Shiell

Call for a free consultation now 310.247.9913.

Divorce and Money

Los Angeles Family Law Attorney

Divorce Lawyers|Attorneys Los Angeles, Beverly Hills

California Prenuptial, Prenups

Young Children should not watch TV

An old Article from Time

Led by Frederick Zimmerman and Dr. Dimitri Christakis, both at the University of Washington, the research team found that with every hour per day spent watching baby DVDs and videos, infants learned six to eight fewer new vocabulary words than babies who never watched the videos. These products had the strongest detrimental effect on babies 8 to 16 months old, the age at which language skills are starting to form. "The more videos they watched, the fewer words they knew," says Christakis. "These babies scored about 10% lower on language skills than infants who had not watched these videos."
It's not the first blow to baby videos, and likely won't be the last. Mounting evidence suggests that passive screen sucking not only doesn't help children learn, but could also set back their development. Last spring, Christakis and his colleagues found that by three months, 40% of babies are regular viewers of DVDs, videos or television; by the time they are two years old, almost 90% are spending two to three hours each day in front of a screen. Three studies have shown that watching television, even if it includes educational programming such as Sesame Street, delays language development. "Babies require face-to-face interaction to learn," says Dr. Vic Strasburger, professor of pediatrics at the University of New Mexico School of Medicine and a spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics. "They don't get that interaction from watching TV or videos. In fact, the watching probably interferes with the crucial wiring being laid down in their brains during early development." Previous studies have shown, for example, that babies learn faster and better from a native speaker of a language when they are interacting with that speaker instead of watching the same speaker talk on a video screen. "Even watching a live person speak to you via television is not the same thing as having that person in front of you," says Christakis.
This growing evidence led the Academy to issue its recommendation in 1999 that no child under two years old watch any television. The authors of the new study might suggest reading instead: children who got daily reading or storytelling time with their parents showed a slight increase in language skills.
Though the popular baby videos and DVDs in the Washington study were designed to stimulate infants' brains, not necessarily to promote language development, parents generally assume that the products' promises to make their babies smarter include improvement of speaking skills. But, says Christakis, "the majority of the videos don't try to promote language; they have rapid scene changes and quick edits, and no appearance of the 'parent-ese' type of speaking that parents use when talking to their babies."
As far as Christakis and his colleagues can determine, the only thing that baby videos are doing is producing a generation of overstimulated kids. "There is an assumption that stimulation is good, so more is better," he says. "But that's not true; there is such a thing as overstimulation." His group has found that the more television children watch, the shorter their attention spans later in life. "Their minds come to expect a high level of stimulation, and view that as normal," says Christakis, "and by comparison, reality is boring."
He and other experts worry that the proliferation of these products will continue to displace the one thing that babies need in the first months of life — face time with human beings. "Every interaction with your child is meaningful," says Christakis. "Time is precious in those early years, and the newborn is watching you, and learning from everything you do." So just talk to them; they're listening.

Divorce Custody television